Saturday, March 15, 2025
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Maybe water your plants, or don't, who cares?
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Your hair will fall out but will grow back in a more glorious colour and texture.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Tomorrow morning you will find yourself unexpectedly in a spaceship
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Your mother will be unable to attend your brunch due to a strike. Eat those Turkish eggs solo and contemplate whether UPS will deliver to Pluto.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You have a tiger in your basement.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you will find your lost dog
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Your mother will suddenly appear and demand you submit your tax returns. Do it now!
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will celebrate the arrival of an errant husband, who will have returned magically from the distant past. (but is missing most of his hats)
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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You will dream about a sheep today. It will have a significant meaning.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Play Ticket To Ride with a gossipy Sagittarius.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will discover a hidden talent for speaking to plants. They have some interesting stories to share.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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The Loch Ness Monster is friendly and is probably a vegetarian. Nessie would like to invite you to visit her at the Loch Ness Inn for a bowl of tea and some haggis. Vegetarian haggis of course.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
