Thursday, March 13, 2025
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Your alarm clock will start playing catchy tunes in the morning, transforming waking up into a dance party.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Your favourite pair of socks will vanish into another dimension.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Never tell a Gemini how much you hate them. They can read the wrinkles in your forehead like Braille.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You will find a love letter in a book.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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All your dreams will come true today, but none of them will be happy.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Recreate a freemason ritual in your spare bedroom
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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A talking bird will visit you today. Listen to what it has to say. It might just be the fountain of youth you've been looking for.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Make out with an Arabian Libra
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Your boss will recognize your unique talents today, by giving you a seemingly impossible task. Don't worry, any task can be accomplished through determination and shear will.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You are 92% sure that you are the protagonist of a role-playing video game.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today, you're going to discover you've been paying your bills twice as long as everyone else.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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As you gaze upon a majestic waterfall, you will realize the secret to eternal youth lies in the nectar of honey bees, prompting a new career as a beekeeper.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
