Monday, March 10, 2025
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You will lose your glasses and find them on your head.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Beware of mischievous socks that have learned to walk on their own. They may try to escape your drawer.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You'll discover you've been accidentally borrowing the souls of your worst enemies, but it's okay because they're the worst.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Today you will have an infuriating argument with someone who has no idea what you're saying
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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It is said that when a narcissist looks in the mirror, they see something slightly different. You are not a narcissist. You are perfect just the way you are.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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5000 glares from a social Goose are inevitable.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Your ability to avoid small talk today indicates that you are evolving spiritually.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You will find a lost remote control in the most unexpected place.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Your car will not start today. It's trying to tell you something.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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If a seahorse tries to sell you an oceanfront cabin, run away.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Date an Ethiopian scorpio.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Don't forget to stop and smell the roses today. Unless you're in a rush, then it's probably not worth it.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
