Wednesday, March 5, 2025
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You will have a surprisingly stimulating conversation with a slice of toast today. Try to avoid letting the bread crunching noises dominate the dialogue.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Go over a cliff with an Pisces
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Start some supernatural creatures at the tip of your finger tonight.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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A fortune cookie will reveal a profound and life-changing prophecy. Take it with a grain of MSG.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You never finished your thesis.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today is a good day to stay indoors.Hundreds of Forrest Gumps will sprint past your home, disrupting your routine, and littering their path with pennies.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you will suddenly find yourself transported into a strange alternate universe full of magic and wonders, but without any of the usual nonsense of everyday life
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You will stumble upon a hidden treasure map while doing laundry.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Your neighbour's cat will start doing stuff to your couch cushions.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Learn to love checklists. Making checklists is not as boring as you think. In fact, it'll save you a lot of boredom in the future.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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It's always good to have a laugh, especially at someone else's expense. Unless they're a baby, then you should probably just let them cry.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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A normally docile animal will wreak havoc on your day, making you late and causing general mayhem.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
