Wacky Horoscopes

You will meet a stranger who will change your life.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

A chance encounter with a venomous snake will test your ability to remain calm under pressure.

20 Apr – 20 May

When you meet a new friend today, they will become your emergency contact.

21 May – 20 Jun

Today you will discover that you can't eat avocado anymore

21 Jun – 22 Jul

A purple elephant will reveal a deep secret about your existence today. Hopefully, this secret won't be that you're afraid of purple elephants.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Your last meal will be tacos.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Pursue esoteric knowledge: Dive into the mysteries of ancient philosophies and religions to expand your understanding of the universe.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

It's time for a cup of tea and a Danish pastry.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Expect a series of small miracles to occur throughout the day, from finding a parking spot easily to encountering a rainbow after a light rain.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Beware of mischievous garden gnomes swapping your toothbrush with a tiny broom. Embrace the miniature cleaning experience!

22 Dec – 19 Jan

You will receive some money you lost. It will be in the form of a check, and you will lose it again.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive.

19 Feb – 20 Mar