Saturday, February 15, 2025
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Your friends will admire you today for your ability to converse on any topic. Within seconds you'll be able to talk to them about retractable ball-point pens andarezitively engaginzing.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Laugh tours with a jewellery store ring master
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will wash your clothes with your hands. There will be no more wet laundry days
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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A feeling of helplessness will wash over you today as you confront the enormity of global issues. Take small actions to make a difference and don't lose hope.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Ach, vitamins—you'll accidentally unwittingly run out of them
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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That sinister-looking cactus is just longing to be taken home and loved.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you will discover the true evilness of bananas: they ripen too quickly, they spoil the rest of your fruit, and they leave streaks on your clothes. Beware of the treachery of bananas!
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Tell a joke to a desk plant and watch it grow.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today, your makeup will match your outfit perfectly.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you will rise above the Earth's atmosphere; you will fly in a spaceship
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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From mastering the delicate art of looking effortlessly stylish to discovering the ideal ratio of carelessness to chic, your mastery of the imperfect will be unrivaled.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Your bed is haunted, but only when you're alone.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
