Monday, January 27, 2025
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You will discover a hidden talent for communicating with aliens through interpretive dance.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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A moon eclipse predicts an important decision you will need to make about your life path - fate or destiny?
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will find perfectly preserved confused mammoth meat in your freezer. Eat whatever's left
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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The spirits of lost pens will guide you today; follow their invisible ink trails for cosmic insights.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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The world is your oyster, so eat it.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you will realize that your co-worker is a celebrity
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Trans people are hot. This will prove important to remember.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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It will rain vertically today.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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You will be more likely to become a spaceman than a farmer.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will receive a strange vision tonight while asleep. It may involve potatoes. Don't be alarmed, visions of potatoes are known to predict good fortune.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will find your lost dog
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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It is okay to say no. But today, you should say yes. Then you will say no.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar