Saturday, January 25, 2025
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Your significant other will inexplicably forget an important date. Ignore their pathetic excuses and cherish your alone time.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Don't forget to drink lots of water today, and maybe even consume a juicy piece of fruit or tooosus.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Haunt the Dead Sea with a Libra
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Today you will think you're seeing things
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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There is no way to fit that square peg into that round hole.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You're a great hugger.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You will receive a parcel containing your name and address inside a leather wallet
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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If the boss has an issue with your napping habits, mismatched socks will throw them off your scent. But don't get too comfortable, there's still work to be done!
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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A Yoshi doll will mysteriously appear on your doorstep, effectively fostering a deep yearning for Nintendo Switch gameplay within you.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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From #PugLife memes to witty observations about pet parenting, your contributions to the world of canine camaraderie will be revered and adored.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today someone will write a song about you. It'll be a fucking banger.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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A Leprechaun will ask for your help today.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar