Monday, January 20, 2025
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There is no way to fit that square peg into that round hole.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today, you will stumble upon a forgotten journal from your childhood, filled with strangely accurate predictions about your current Netflix binge-watching choices.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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A chance encounter with a mysterious stranger will leave you pondering the meaning of life.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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If you feel inclined, try to communicate with aliens today. Stay vigilant for any sightings.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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A bat will fly into your home through the window today.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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An invisible halo of misfortune will surround you today, causing minor setbacks and inconveniences to occur around you at random. Wherever you go and whatever you do, a mysterious force will ensure that everything takes ten percent longer than it should.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today is a good day to try a new hobby, especially one that involves an outlet for your creativity. Avoid hunting, puppet-making, and marmoset wrestling unless you have prior experience.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will experience an intense psychic surge
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Have you ever wanted to be a cat? Now's your chance!
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you will be told that one of your ancestors is a Roman emperor
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today, a part of you will feel the need to take a nap, but you will resist.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Your future will be bright as you will win the lottery next week. However, you will spend it all on an automated asteroid Killer Space Laser.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar