Thursday, January 16, 2025
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You'll suddenly realize you hate all the things you've been using to cut your hair.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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If you feel a sudden urge to join a pyramid scheme, maybe lay off on sharing it with your closest friends just yet.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today you will win the lottery at least twice
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You will embrace the wisdom and company of friends both young and old.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will notice a divine symmetry in nature, and will have a great revelation
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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If you feel compelled to start a new hobby this week, maybe choose one that doesn't involve balancing spinning plates on your head. Unless you're very good at that.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You are more likely to get a hug today than a cup of coffee.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Maybe it's because you left your pet chipmunk in the clothes dryer last week, but you've been feeling even more itchy than usual. A pack of gerbils may be the answer to your scratching ways.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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You will find yourself transported to a parallel universe where everyone wears tuxedos
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You'll stumble upon a perfectly ripe avocado that mysteriously glows in the dark.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Beware of rogue tomatoes conspiring to create a salsa revolution in your kitchen.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will discover that the trees outside your home have started to communicate in a secret language. Try to decipher what they're saying, but respect their privacy.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar