Wacky Horoscopes

There are multiple spiders living in your hair.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Your mother will suddenly appear and demand you submit your tax returns. Do it now!

20 Apr – 20 May

Today you will be surprised to see a wild platypus

21 May – 20 Jun

Your favourite pair of socks will mysteriously start playing your favourite song whenever you put them on.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

You will experience an odd gust of wind from an unexpected direction today, wait for it and be prepared.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

All your abandoned pasta and rice will finally have a chance to shine in an original dish you create today!

23 Aug – 22 Sep

To all those Leo's born between August 10th and August 12th: Don't worry, your powers of charm are still intact.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Today you will exercise your newfound powers to summon a glitter tornado

23 Oct – 21 Nov

For the foreseeable future, all your conversations will be via email.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

At a restaurant, you can only order things that have your initials.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

You'll find something shiny today, make sure you keep it!

20 Jan – 18 Feb

You will discover new meanings in old sayings like "it's raining cats and dogs out there". Hopefully, it's just raining cats and not dogs.

19 Feb – 20 Mar