Wacky Horoscopes

Let your friend borrow your towel, it'll dry them up emotionally.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Don't be alarmed when your sofa cushions start attacking you.

20 Apr – 20 May

You will have a great time today as long as you don't check the time.

21 May – 20 Jun

Bend a circle with an air hostess

21 Jun – 22 Jul

The office funny man is just jealous of your new shirt. Wear it with pride.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You will receive a surprise delivery of 100 rubber ducks.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Your Toyotomi will turn into a robo-car, demanding you take him on a road trip. Embrace the robot adventure.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Today, you discover a hidden gift for creating unbelievable artwork.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Your lucky colour is brown, which radiates warmth and energy. Wear this colour to amplify your innate power and attract good fortune.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Today, you'll stumble upon a forgotten childhood toy that brings back waves of nostalgia and a sudden urge to build pillow forts.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

You can save a life today, if you choose to.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Be prepared for an unexpected encounter with a celebrity doppelganger. Take a selfie for proof!

19 Feb – 20 Mar