Friday, December 20, 2024
-
Your horoscope today is interconnected with that of your lesser-known neighbor; you'll experience both joy and misery together.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
-
You will have a dream about performing a choreographed dance number, but when you try to replicate it in real life, it will turn into a viral meme. Consider this a warning to perhaps avoid dancing in public.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
-
Today you will be followed by a trail of glitter everywhere you go.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
-
Today you will accidentally turn your cat into a dragon, and chaos will ensue
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
-
Today you will accidentally pin down the secret of perpetual motion
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
-
The morning will start off routine, but things will quickly heat up when you accidentally drop your breakfast burrito in your shoe. Improvements to the footwear-food protection industry are urgently needed.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
-
Today you will pick up that antique metal detector you've had your eye on and start your hunt for historical treasure.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
-
You will win the lottery today. Well, technically it isn't the lottery, because you've never bought a ticket. But hey, optimism!
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
-
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But if you can't find the lemons, just drink the apple juice. It's good too.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
-
Your toaster is officially a masterpiece. It's probably a Leo.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
-
You will stumble upon a hilarious meme that will make your day. You will desperately want to share it with your friends but decide to exercise self-restraint, keeping it to yourself as a cherished secret. Don't be afraid to indulge in harmless humor, though.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
-
It’s not just a phase.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
