Wednesday, November 27, 2024
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Take a page from a lion's playbook
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will learn the secret to happiness. It is to never forget your umbrella.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Your pet rock is looking especially cool today. I'm sure it would love for you to take it to a petting zoo.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Today you will realize how much money you have saved up over the years, and will be able to afford a yacht and a villa in Tahiti if you earn a bit extra
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will wake up right after getting home from work
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You will be asked to eat an extra one hundred calories today, but it will be worth it.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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A border collie will rescue at least four civilians from a flood by building a dam of consciousness
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You can never have too many pink fluffy sweaters. Consider buying some more today.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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You have a finite number of farts in your lifetime. Use them wisely.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You are an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, inside a mystery. Unravel yourself and see what's inside!
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Beware of mischievous garden gnomes swapping your shampoo with toothpaste. Your hair may get minty fresh!
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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There is no such thing as a stupid question. Except for the one you are about to ask.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
