Tuesday, November 5, 2024

• 

  Today you will find a lost treasure map hidden inside a fortune cookie.

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

• 

  Add TLC with an immaculate Virgo

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

• 

  Today you will imagine you feel a sharp prick of electricity in your body, you'll suddenly feel a sudden burning sensation in your left butt cheek, and will be unable to sit down for the rest of day.

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

• 

  Today you will avoid conversing with salespeople, whether it's via email, phone, or in-person.

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

• 

  Have you been eating bananas? That's good for you, you know.

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

• 

  You will have a great idea today.

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

• 

  You will suddenly realize that you've been mispronouncing the word "jorts" all your life.

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

• 

  Today, you'll find yourself captivated by the intricate patterns formed by spilled coffee on the café table, unraveling a prophetic message for the day ahead.

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

• 

  Make love with a stiff-necked Libra

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

• 

  An imbalance in the universe creates an unusual situation: for each step you take forward, you will take three sideways. Expect to get nowhere quickly.

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

• 

  We will teach you never to lie and now you will discover an unexpectedly artistic vein deep inside of you

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

• 

  You will have many cacti cross your path today, do not be alarmed.

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar