Monday, October 28, 2024
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Don't worry, the pile of dishes in the sink is not as dirty as you think.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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When the clock strikes thirteen, your soul will leave your body and you will be a ghost. Sorry.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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A flock of flamingos will serenade you with a chorus of your favourite songs. Enjoy the flamboyant performance!
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Go over a cliff with an Pisces
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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A flock of seagulls will gather outside your window and sing you a song.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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In the vast universe of online arguments, you will be crowned the Supreme Debater. Your ability to skillfully navigate through contentious discussions and present compelling arguments will earn you admiration and respect.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Let’s just get through today.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You are owed a pizza. Order it.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will accidentally discover an online sketch comedy show that you're obsessed with
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you will discover the true evilness of bananas: they ripen too quickly, they spoil the rest of your fruit, and they leave streaks on your clothes. Beware of the treachery of bananas!
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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A scorpion will cross your path today. Fortunately, you'll have the upper hand because you'll be wearing wooden shoes.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Today you will encounter a group of synchronized dolphins performing a water ballet in the ocean.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
