Sunday, October 27, 2024
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When you spill juice on your laptop today, resist the urge to throw it out the window in a fit of rage. Losing your data is one thing; murder is another.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will decide to give up caffeine
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You'll suddenly gain phenomenal knowledge of jazz music, so you'll be able to accurately describe every famous musician in detail.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You have to poop.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Your favourite pair of shoes will mysteriously start tap dancing whenever you wear them.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You will inadvertently make an outrageous fashion statement, and it will become a trend.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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The spirits of lost pens will guide you today; follow their invisible ink trails for cosmic insights.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Your phone will today start speaking Russian
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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You have to play a drinking game with your boss.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today, you'll stumble upon an unusually long line at the post office, only to discover it's a secret audition for a reality show about patience.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You will forget the date today and spontaneously book a trip to Bora Bora for next month.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will have a series of minor difficulties today, but everything will be easily overcome by simply taking your shoes off.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
