Sunday, October 20, 2024
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Dance with a librarian
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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There will be no chocolate in your advent calendar for the rest of the year. Sorry.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You'll suddenly be awakened to an unfamiliar magical world, granting you powers that would seem useless
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Today you will have the power of telepathy. Use it to make a duckface at that guy who cut you off in traffic.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you shall encounter a swarm of bees, but fear not! This is a sign that you will soon make a fruitful decision.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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A group of regulators are going to come after you with a highly specialized scalpel, because they think you're dreaming too loud.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Trans people are hot. This will prove important to remember.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Forgive vampires for being distrustful.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Just because you can't remember where you left your keys, it doesn't mean you're going to forget about them.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Catch a polar bear with a bloody nose climb a tree
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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A stranger's dog will unexpectedly lick you today. Don't be alarmed; their owner will quickly apologize and wipe off the slobber. Remember, a dog's tongue is basically a built-in vacuum for germs.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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You will accidentally unlock secret powers to electromagnetize things.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
