Wednesday, October 16, 2024
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You will discover a hidden talent for speaking fluent penguin. Prepare for conversations with your tuxedo-wearing friends!
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will lose something, but it won't be important.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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What’s done is done.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You will have the uncanny ability to understand and communicate with animals today. Take advantage of this skill to uncover the secrets of the local squirrels.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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There is a meerkat watching and it will come for you
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Prepare to witness a synchronized dance routine performed by a group of synchronized shopping carts at the supermarket.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Have a Skype session with an octopus
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Look for your letter in the mirror.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you'll suddenly discover you can trigger spontaneous puberty on youths by getting close to them
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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If you feel the need to make a wager, make sure it's not with your soul. And definitely don't wager with a mythical creature's soul. That's just rude.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You and I will both receive a text from a rabbit asking for your help.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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On the topic of tests, don't try to impress a teacher this week. They've seen it all before and probably have tenure anyway.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar