Monday, October 7, 2024

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  Take your time.

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

• 

  In Japan, you're a god. In Mexico, you're a god. In Canada, you're also a god.

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

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  You'll spend hours trying to get rid of a sticky substance that is somehow stuck to your hand.

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

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  The first raindrop of the season will land on your nose.

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

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  It'll be always sunny at your house.

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

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  What’s done is done.

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

• 

  Beware a clan of conniving psycho clowns swapping your breakfast cereal with jelly

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

• 

  Your laziness will pay off in unexpected ways.

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

• 

  Wait for boiled tea with an elephant

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

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  Your alter ego is a parking meter; stand tall and demand the attention you deserve.

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

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  Today you will avoid conversing with salespeople, whether it's via email, phone, or in-person.

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

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  Don't clean your room today, the mess will be beneficial for you in the future.

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar