Monday, September 30, 2024
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Today you will buy a T-shirt with a stupid slogan on it
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will get super bad fuel economy. The lesson is there all along.
20 Apr – 20 May
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You have been chosen for an important mission! Unfortunately you're the only one who can't remember anything about it.
21 May – 20 Jun
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A map will be crucial to your success today. Don't worry, you'll figure it out.
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Beware of a sudden craving for pickles and chocolate pudding—it's a culinary adventure you won't forget.
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You've been feeling a bit run down lately. Today would be a great day to relax. Put your feet up and have a drink. You've earned it.
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Celebrate with a Cancer
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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When the time comes, you will know what to do. Hopefully you'll know it before anyone else.
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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A syncronistic series of events will lead you to discover a hidden tunnel beneath your local library, revealing a community of harmless yet mischievous gnomes.
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will have the opportunity to make a wish today. Try not to wish for more wishes, because that would just be greedy.
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will be alone with a very nice young lady
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Resist the siren song of the glitter aisle today. Unless you desperately need glitter, in which case, by all means, buy as much as your heart desires. But be prepared to find it everywhere for the next five years.
19 Feb – 20 Mar
