Wacky Horoscopes

You will encounter a pushy person today. This could be in a traffic situation or perhaps in a social setting. It's okay to stand up for yourself and set boundaries.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Resist the temptation to upgrade your phone every time a new model is released, embrace the agony of consciousness.

Taurus

20 Apr – 20 May

Space lions are not to be reckoned with, watch out.

Gemini

21 May – 20 Jun

Help, I'm stuck in the horoscope factory! If you send me $100 in iTunes vouchers I'll pay you $1000 when I escape.

Cancer

21 Jun – 22 Jul

You'll discover a hidden talent for reading people's minds. It's great for interrogation purposes.

Leo

23 Jul – 22 Aug

When you were young, your bedroom was lined with posters of the Spice Girls. You will feel the urge to create a fever dream playlist of their music today.

Virgo

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Today you will find a lost library book hidden inside a loaf of bread. Return it and savor the literary carbs!

Libra

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Embrace your inner woo-woo: Consult a tarot reader to guide your future decisions.

Scorpio

23 Oct – 21 Nov

You will receive some money you lost. It will be in the form of a check, and you will lose it again.

Sagittarius

22 Nov – 21 Dec

There is a journey to be taken, and you are the only one who can take it. Ask yourself, "Do I want to?"

Capricorn

22 Dec – 19 Jan

If you can afford to have your friends over for a big cookout, then consider doing so! Having people around with good food is always a plus.

Aquarius

20 Jan – 18 Feb

A flock of seagulls will serenade you with a rendition of your favourite song. Prepare to be amazed.

Pisces

19 Feb – 20 Mar

Sunday, September 29, 2024