Wacky Horoscopes

Today you will be well acquainted with the subject of bugs

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Your improved tennis serve will lead to a newfound confidence in your ability to succeed in other areas of life.

20 Apr – 20 May

You still sleep with your teddy bear.

21 May – 20 Jun

Today you'll find an eggplant that is so is so expensive.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

You will fiercely resist the temptation to lick the spoon today, no matter how delicious the batter smells.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Your car will today stop being a car, and become a giant mechanical beetle. Embrace the insect expedition.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Today you will suddenly feel a desire to clean up your garden and will start digging a hole

23 Sep – 22 Oct

A new adventure awaits you, but first, you must answer the call of nature.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Today you will accidentally invent a new dance move that becomes an internet sensation. Embrace your newfound fame.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

You will have minor disagreements with strangers today. Just let it go.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Why do some people insist on verbally talking to their audience when they should just tell the story outright?

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Hear the water whispering beneath the seafloor

19 Feb – 20 Mar