Wacky Horoscopes

The best way to predict the future is to invent it. Unless you're a seer, in which case it's better to just go to the crystal ball store.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Today, your makeup will match your outfit perfectly.

Taurus

20 Apr – 20 May

A misunderstanding about popcorn will lead to an interesting conversation. Just remember, friendship is like popcorn: it needs time to pop and the fluffy stuff on the top is always the best part.

Gemini

21 May – 20 Jun

You will have a nice conversation with a stranger today. Maybe they will tell you about their hobby of bird-watching, and you will learn something new.

Cancer

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Someone will tell you that you have food on your face. Don't respond with hostility, they are just trying to help.

Leo

23 Jul – 22 Aug

A colour will catch your eye today. Whatever you do, don't look at it directly. It's not worth risking eternal damnation just for a glance at the azure abyss.