Monday, September 23, 2024

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  Are you ready for the challenge?

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

• 

  You've never been to Canada, have you? Well, today's the day!

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

• 

  Your teeth will feel particularly clean today.

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

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  If you go to the toilet, you will be entertained.

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

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  Before fixing anything in the house, make sure everyone knows it is broken.

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

• 

  Beware of falling acorns—they are plotting a squirrel uprising.

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

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  Beware of rogue squirrels plotting to take over the world's nut supply. Stay vigilant!

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

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  When you meet a new friend today, they will become your emergency contact.

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

• 

  All Virgos are beautiful. This is an indisputable fact.

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

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  Remember that your dog comprehends every word you say, so choose your words wisely.

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

• 

  Your pet goldfish will reveal its true identity as a reincarnated pirate seeking buried treasure.

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

• 

  Today you will forget that you have a cat

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar