Monday, August 19, 2024
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A chance encounter with a mysterious stranger will leave you pondering the meaning of life.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will go on a triple date with three very old ladies, who will each try to steal you away from your girlfriend
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Consider past lives: Reflect on the idea that your soul has lived before and that your experiences continue to shape your existence.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Beware of rogue garden hoses conspiring to create a water park in your backyard. Grab your swimsuit and join the fun!
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you WILL feel like superhero. Your fatigue will melt away with your freshly brewed coffee.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Your email account has been hacked. The hacker is very sorry and has returned all of your emails. They are sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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A surprise birthday party is coming your way, but it will be a surprise for someone else. You will accidentally ruin the surprise, but your presence will still be appreciated.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will accidentally shrink yourself and explore the miniature world.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today, you will speak with a fork. It will go much better than you expect!
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you will encounter a group of synchronized cows performing a ballet in the middle of a field.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Swim freely with leviathan dragonfish
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Don't forget to stop and smell the roses today. Unless you're in a rush, then it's probably not worth it.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
