Tuesday, August 6, 2024

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  Today you will be forcefully teleported to a different dimension

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

• 

  Today you will realize to your horror that you're under the influence of a psychotic kitchen utensil

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

• 

  The daily grind is getting to you. Try including garlic in your breakfast to help alleviate stress.

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

• 

  You will be able to see invisible colors today. These colors will be completely new to you and very beautiful. Try to find a way to describe them to the people around you so they can appreciate their beauty too, although frankly, they will think you're crazy.

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

• 

  It is okay to say no. But today, you should say yes. Then you will say no.

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

• 

  Don't accept any free drinks whatsoever today.

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

• 

  Today you will receive a divorce summons from a lawyer you now find extremely attractive, but you're not married.

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

• 

  Beware of mischievous garden fairies rearranging your flower beds into intricate crop circles.

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

• 

  You will never have to look for a car again.

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

• 

  Get ready to uncover a long-lost collection of mismatched socks, hidden away in the depths of your sock drawer.

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

• 

  There is no I in team, but there is in 'win'. Make sure you get the pronunciation right when telling your team this.

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

• 

  Today you will wake up and realize you've been writing poems all night and will win a prize

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar