Wacky Horoscopes

You will receive an unexpected proposal today, and you will be forced to choose between two equally good options. Choose the third option.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

You will be very popular today. Everyone will want to be your friend.

Taurus

20 Apr – 20 May

Always remember to drink your ovaltine.

Gemini

21 May – 20 Jun

Today you will stop looking at clocks and then realize you've spent an entire week living in a completely different world

As you immerse yourself in the soothing sounds of a nearby waterfall, you will discover a newfound ability to communicate with plants, who will reveal their ancient wisdom and share their secrets for cultivating happiness.

Leo

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Did you ever want to see a parade of turtles? Of course you did! That's why you're so excited about the one that's coming to your city this weekend!

Virgo

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Today you will realize you don't need to charge your phone anymore.

Libra

23 Sep – 22 Oct

A rival is out there. This will become a huge bummer for them.

Scorpio

23 Oct – 21 Nov

You will suddenly grow an extra limb that will tie up your other limbs in knots.

Sagittarius

22 Nov – 21 Dec

There's no point to this, but it's a good laugh.

Capricorn

22 Dec – 19 Jan

At a restaurant, you can only order things that have your initials.

Aquarius

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Today you will accidentally turn your bathtub into a jacuzzi filled with spaghetti.

Pisces

19 Feb – 20 Mar

Monday, July 22, 2024