Tuesday, June 4, 2024
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There is never too much garlic bread.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You have a finite number of farts in your lifetime. Use them wisely.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Your hair will stand up today.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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If you'd rather stay home and read than attend a party, do it! Just be sure to make exceptions and seize opportunities to socialize, especially if you're an introvert.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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A clandestine crush will reveal themselves through an ambiguous text message.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you will make a friend with a pumpkin, and will realize that it's the cutest thing ever.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You're not crazy, you're just in love.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless you're a goat, in which case the grass is always greener on your side. Goats rock.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Your morning coffee will mysteriously taste like pumpkin spice and lavender.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You may have to take a jump to the left before you can take a little step to the right.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You will have the uncanny ability to understand and communicate with animals today. Take advantage of this skill to uncover the secrets of the local squirrels.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Today you will finally qualify to be a contestant on TV game shows
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
