Monday, June 3, 2024
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You will receive an unexpected proposal today, and you will be forced to choose between two equally good options. Choose the third option.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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If you see a black raven, consider it a sign.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Your favourite pair of socks will mysteriously start playing your favourite song whenever you put them on.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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From timeless classics to clever contemporary quips, your dad joke repertoire will be unmatched. Prepare to be the life of every party and the bane of everyone's humourless friend.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You will dream of falling tonight but right before you hit the ground you will wake up. Unfortunately, that waking up part is just a dream and you will hit the ground hard. Hopefully you slept through that part and woke up safely in your bed.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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In the world of sarcasm, you will achieve legendary status. Your ability to deliver scathing yet witty remarks with a perfectly straight face will earn you the admiration and fear of those around you.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You will receive a Facebook friend request from a crab today.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will get fired from a job you don't like doing because you were once fired from an identical job
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Your alarm clock will start playing soothing lullabies to gently wake you up in the morning. Embrace the musical mornings!
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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That would be a big plate of…bread.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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There is a chance you will save a choking baby today.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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When you meet a new friend today, they will become your emergency contact.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
