Saturday, May 25, 2024
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It'll be always sunny at your house.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will develop a sudden affinity for wearing mismatched socks.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Your mother will suddenly appear and demand you submit your tax returns. Do it now!
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Today you will discover you have a hidden talent for hypnotism. Prepare to mesmerize your whole neighborhood!
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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A dog will lick your face today.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you will get extremely bored, but also extremely horny.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today, you will discover an unusually shaped cloud that eerily resembles your favourite childhood pet, bringing back cherished memories and a touch of nostalgia.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today you will discover that you can't eat avocado anymore
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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You think today you may have anger for fri-yay
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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A sudden gust of wind will scatter all your sticky notes around the room. It'll be surprisingly inspiring.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Resist the temptation to upgrade your phone every time a new model is released, embrace the agony of consciousness.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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The fates conspire to bless your endeavours in the realm of love today. Should you kiss a stranger on the subway, rest assured they shall not be a stranger for long.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar