Thursday, April 25, 2024
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Today you'll discover a rotating cylindrical object in your garage, leading to an exciting chase through the past.
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will dream of being a butterfly today.
20 Apr – 20 May
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Steer clear of escalators; they have a mind of their own today, and it's not in your favor.
21 May – 20 Jun
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All cats are grey.
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Burn calories with firewise advice from a British earl
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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For the first time in history, an ant will win a Nobel Prize. Unfortunately, no one will know, because you're the only one who can understand their speech.
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You will join a long line of people waiting to have their kale transformed into mulch.
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Like a twinkling star, you shall guide others through the darkness. Your presence and radiance will have a lasting impact on those around you.
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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At some point today a rainbow will appear. Sadly, there is no pot of gold at the end of it. Actually there is, but it's filled with the leprechaun's literal diarrhea and is highly toxic.
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will be audited by the IRS.
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You have an outhouse in your backyard.
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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A moon eclipse predicts an important decision you will need to make about your life path - fate or destiny?
19 Feb – 20 Mar
