Thursday, April 18, 2024
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Today you will discover a hidden talent for juggling rubber ducks.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will stare vehemently at an animal skull, discovering you have a hidden talent of identifying graffiti artists just by looking at their art
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You will spontaneously develop teleportation abilities. These powers will manifest when you are in close proximity to an electrical socket.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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That potato salad is the best thing you've ever eaten, no questions asked.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Never play a trick on a plant. It's mean and plants are friends.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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The best things in life are free. Especially if you stole them.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You will receive an unexpected invitation to join a secret society but must bring an item of great importance to gain entry - it will be a porcelain turtle.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You'll have good luck today if you can spot a bee.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will be possessed by the spirit of a walrus
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Catch a polar bear with a bloody nose climb a tree
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You have a big heart, and you should treat it with care. For example, don't use it to try and carry anvils.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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A fortune cookie will reveal a profound and life-changing prophecy. Take it with a grain of MSG.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
