Friday, April 5, 2024
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You have an unhealthy obsession with bananas. Today is your lucky day.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you'll hug a toilet. It will hug you back.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You will find a long-lost family member today. Maybe it will be your cousin, Bob.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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You will have a dream about performing a choreographed dance number, but when you try to replicate it in real life, it will turn into a viral meme. Consider this a warning to perhaps avoid dancing in public.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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A chance meeting with a renowned chef will lead to a unforgettable culinary adventure culminating in a mouth-watering meal of honey-roasted ice cream.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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A notorious crime will have you questioning the innocence of a seemingly innocent person. Use your detective skills to uncover the truth and solve the case.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You will be able to taste colors today. This will be an interesting experience but also very confusing. You'll discover that yellow tastes like mustard and that the color blue is disgusting, akin to eating soap. Hopefully, you don't have to eat anything blue today.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Your ability to handle calamity and distress will be tested this week. Hopefully, it's not a test where someone's life depends on it.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you'll meet a politician. It'll be a boring conversation.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Today you will realize the label shaped' doesn't exist, and that you've been mislabeling ovals as oblongs for all your adult life
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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People will judge you for drinking too much water.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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There is never too much garlic bread.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
