Sunday, March 31, 2024

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  Your company will today shut down for fifteen hours, requiring you to have fun

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

• 

  Today will be a great day to start a garden. Don't worry if you lack a green thumb, because it's not actually a prerequisite.

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

• 

  Today you will conquer your fear of heights by finally taking that ladder to the attic.

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

• 

  You are INFJ.

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

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  You'll be swept away by a mysterious tide of human emotion and will fall into a trance.

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

• 

  The patterns on the carpet in your bedroom contain hidden messages; today you will find the meaning of true love in the form of a dizzyingly arrangement of lint and fibres that, when viewed from a certain angle, reveals a shape that resembles Antarctica.

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

• 

  Whack a psychedelic Gog

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

• 

  Today you will make the perfect cup of tea

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

• 

  If you get your ear pierced today, you will find true love as a result.

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

• 

  Today you will find yourself on an empty mountaintop, completely out of any mortal danger

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

• 

  Laugh tours with a jewellery store ring master

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

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  Embrace the peculiar sound of a malfunctioning elevator, as it holds the key to unlocking a new friendship with a quirky inventor who lives on the top floor.

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar