Thursday, March 21, 2024

• 

  You will never have to look for a car again.

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

• 

  A talking dog will give you advice about your personal life today.

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

• 

  Beware of falling acorns—they are plotting a squirrel uprising.

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

• 

  Don't forget your dentist appointment later today. You did put it into your calendar didn't you?

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

• 

  Today is your lucky day. Unfortunately, it only comes around every 3 years.

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

• 

  Let a quick-witted Aquarius suggest bedtime stories

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

• 

  You'll find a semi-sentient cookie that will charm you with its crafty personality.

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

• 

  A new sound will become popular and you will want to listen to it.

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

• 

  The patterns on the carpet in your bedroom contain hidden messages; today you will find the meaning of true love in the form of a dizzyingly arrangement of lint and fibres that, when viewed from a certain angle, reveals a shape that resembles Antarctica.

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

• 

  Your laziness will pay off in unexpected ways.

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

• 

  Practice gratitude: Take time each day to reflect on the things you're thankful for to cultivate a positive mindset.

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

• 

  You can run, but you can't hide. That is, unless you're a ghost. Then you can hide forever.

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar