Saturday, March 9, 2024

• 

  Try to be chill like a cucumber today.

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

• 

  You've lost a sock in the dryer. Unfortunately, it will not be found tonight.

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

• 

  Your toothbrush will gain the ability to brush your teeth on its own. Enjoy the hands-free dental hygiene!

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

• 

  You have an outhouse in your backyard.

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

• 

  It is time to wash your hands. You will also need to wash your shoes.

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

• 

  You will be asked to lead a team today. Choose your team wisely, as only those who truly want to can follow you into battle.

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

• 

  Expect an impromptu meeting with a tea leaf reader whose uncanny accuracy will leave you questioning the nature of time itself.

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

• 

  Your car keys will develop the ability to teleport, leading to an exciting treasure hunt throughout your home.

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

• 

  At some point today, you will smell cheese. Don't worry, it's normal.

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

• 

  You'll receive a mysterious note telling you that a bold experiment is about to commence.

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

• 

  Today you will find yourself on top of a mountain, and you won't know which way to go

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

• 

  For the first time in history, an ant will win a Nobel Prize. Unfortunately, no one will know, because you're the only one who can understand their speech.

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar