Friday, February 23, 2024

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  You will find a four-leaf clover today, but don't rely on luck anymore. Your life is about to get ridiculously fortunate, and it's time to lean into that hard work and perseverance.

  Aries

  21 Mar – 19 Apr

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  Bees are hardworking and resilient--they thrive on teamwork and cooperation. If you spot a bee today, take it as a sign to incorporate these virtues into your own life.

  Taurus

  20 Apr – 20 May

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  A strange noise will perturb you throughout the day today. Despite your best efforts, you will be unable to locate the source of this noise, and it will drive you mad. Just remember, madness is relative, and tomorrow you will likely forget all about this.

  Gemini

  21 May – 20 Jun

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  Your hands possess the ability to instantly thaw frozen food, and you will use this power to revolutionize the way we consume ice cream, finally putting an end to the misery of waiting minutes for a treat to soften.

  Cancer

  21 Jun – 22 Jul

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  When talking to a new person, be bold and talk about the apocalypse or someone you dislike, most people prefer to discuss their hobbies.

  Leo

  23 Jul – 22 Aug

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  You emit good vibes today, so take advantage of them and pursue opportunities.

  Virgo

  23 Aug – 22 Sep

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  If you happen to encounter a rainbow today, take it as a good omen. Your lucky leprechaun is nearby.

  Libra

  23 Sep – 22 Oct

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  You will make an impulse purchase today. It will make you feel alive.

  Scorpio

  23 Oct – 21 Nov

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  A glitch in the matrix will occur today, prepare yourself by wearing clothing that is reversible for when you enter and exit the matrix.

  Sagittarius

  22 Nov – 21 Dec

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  You will have a series of minor difficulties today, but everything will be easily overcome by simply taking your shoes off.

  Capricorn

  22 Dec – 19 Jan

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  In the world of online shopping, you will rise above the rest as an Elite Returns Ninja. Your ability to navigate the labyrinth of return policies and effortlessly exchange items will be revered by your fellow shoppers.

  Aquarius

  20 Jan – 18 Feb

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  Heightened senses will be yours today, enabling you to detect the aroma of onions from an adjacent apartment block. Use this power wisely.

  Pisces

  19 Feb – 20 Mar