Wacky Horoscopes

An unusual recipe will catch your eye today. Don't be afraid to try something new and experiment with your culinary skills, even if it involves adding marshmallows to sushi.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

A chance meeting with a celebrity will lead to an unexpected friendship, unless they're too busy for you.

Taurus

20 Apr – 20 May

Your destiny lies in mastering the art of interpretive shadow puppetry; unleash your inner silhouette artist.

Gemini

21 May – 20 Jun

At some point today a rainbow will appear. Sadly, there is no pot of gold at the end of it. Actually there is, but it's filled with the leprechaun's literal diarrhea and is highly toxic.

Cancer

21 Jun – 22 Jul

Today is a good day to stay indoors.Hundreds of Forrest Gumps will sprint past your home, disrupting your routine, and littering their path with pennies.

Leo

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Absorbing workout advice from social media celebrities is a recipe for disappointment. Save your ego and your wallet, devise a plan that works for you and stick to it.

Virgo

23 Aug – 22 Sep

You will have a strange urge to dance today. Fortunately for you, your rhythm has gone on vacation and cannot be located. Extraordinarily bad dancing will occur regardless.

Libra

23 Sep – 22 Oct

While you may feel inclined to chirp like a bird today, it's best to keep this phenomenon confined to your daydreams.

Scorpio

23 Oct – 21 Nov

You will embark on a journey to reunite with a beloved fork from your childhood.

Sagittarius

22 Nov – 21 Dec

A chance encounter with a mysterious stranger will leave you pondering the meaning of life.

Capricorn

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Your car will inexplicably stall at exactly 12:34 PM today. Do not be alarmed; this is a mere coincidence and won't happen again.

This year, you will find your path to enlightenment through the art of mindful drinking. Your ability to savor each sip of your favorite beverage, be it a finely crafted beer or a decadent glass of wine, will elevate your appreciation for the art of drinking.

Pisces

19 Feb – 20 Mar

Sunday, February 18, 2024