Tuesday, February 6, 2024
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You will have the uncanny ability to understand and communicate with animals today. Take advantage of this skill to uncover the secrets of the local squirrels.
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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You will have a dream about mermaids tonight. Don't be alarmed, it's just your subconscious processing your underwater scuba certification.
20 Apr – 20 May
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You will have an unexpected run-in with a former colleague today. Don't let the nostalgia overtake you; instead, use this opportunity to reconnect and network for future possibilities. You never know where life will take you.
21 May – 20 Jun
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Keep trans people in mind, they're hot
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You will dream about Kanye West tonight. He will try to sell you a pair of shoes that are two sizes too small. Take it as a sign to stand up for yourself.
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Your day will significantly improve if you compliment a stranger.
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You will find a genie in a bottle, but they will be a genie of very few words and even fewer wishes. Essentially, they will only respond with "maybe" to all of your wishes. Genies are notoriously hard to please, after all.
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You will overcome your aversion to runny eggs and embrace the joy of yolkiness.
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Your day will consist of several interruptions, each prompting you to choose between doing a load of laundry or completing a puzzle. You will choose the laundry, resulting in a very clean wardrobe and many unfinished puzzles.
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Engage in numerology: Discover the significance of numbers in your life and use them to guide your decisions.
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You will have a strong desire to dance with a stranger, and they will not refuse you.
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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The bitterness you feel towards pineapples will suddenly make sense when you discover they are in fact aliens in disguise, plotting to take over the world.
19 Feb – 20 Mar
