Monday, January 29, 2024
-
From situational reactions to poignant emotional insights, your GIF game will be strong and on point.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
-
Your day will involve multiple instances of sudden and intense thirst. Seek refreshments wisely and often.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
-
The scent of lavender shall follow you throughout the day, lulling you into a state of calm and reassurance. Trust your instincts and follow your nose, for in this ethereal aroma lies a divine guiding force.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
-
If you're unemployed, today is a good day to start planning your own space colony.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
-
You'll consider writing a strongly-worded letter to the editor regarding the lack of quorum at local council meetings, but then remember that nobody cares about local politics.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
-
Today is a good day to vacuum. Especially behind the sofa. You never know what mysteries you might uncover back there.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
-
You will have a nice, long conversation with a friend today. Maybe you will talk about your aspirations for the future, and they will be inspired by you.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
-
This year, you will find your soul's purpose in the pursuit of the perfectly wrinkled shirt. Your obsession with the art of nonchalant elegance will be revered by those in the know.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
-
You will inadvertently make an outrageous fashion statement, and it will become a trend.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
-
You'll text your partner aggressively probing questions about how they're feeling today. They'll appreciate your concern, but also realize you're just bored.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
-
You will invent a new word and start using it in everyday conversation. "Flibbertigibbet" is a great place to start.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
-
It's time to break free from the confines of social media and embrace a sense of mystery in your life.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar