Wednesday, January 24, 2024
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A flash mob will break out in a surprisingly coordinated dance number, and you will be asked to join in.
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Your lucky number is 73 today. Don't ask why, just know that everything happens for a reason, and that reason is 73.
20 Apr – 20 May
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A flock of flamingos will provide a sensational and surprising display of synchronized dancing in the park. Take a break from your daily duties to appreciate this rare phenomenon.
21 May – 20 Jun
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If you feel the need to make a wager, make sure it's not with your soul. And definitely don't wager with a mythical creature's soul. That's just rude.
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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A purple elephant will reveal a deep secret about your existence today. Hopefully, this secret won't be that you're afraid of purple elephants.
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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You will have an uncontrollable urge to dance today. Unfortunately, this will only occur when there is no music playing. Try to enjoy the silence as you dance solo.
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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You will have a dream about sponges tonight. Embrace the weirdness of it, and let it inspire you to be more absorbent and soft in your interactions with others.
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You will discover that your house is haunted, by an incredibly friendly ghost. Congrats on the new roommate!
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Your ancestors will visit you in a dream tonight, but they will be angrily waving cobwebs and chanting incomprehensible phrases. You will wake up screaming, but upon reflection in the morning, you will decide that maybe it was just a weird dream about grandma.
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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Like a lotus blossoming in the midst of a pond, you shall emerge from your struggles today, radiating beauty and resilience. Embrace the fullness of life's challenges, for they are what allow us to appreciate moments of true tranquility.
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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When you check your phone today, you'll find an annoying new update waiting. Instead of procrastinating, update it immediately and then move on with your life. The world of technology waits for no one.
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Your alter ego is a parking meter; stand tall and demand the attention you deserve.
19 Feb – 20 Mar
