Tuesday, January 23, 2024
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Your radiators need some love too, spend some time with them today.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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If the boss has an issue with your napping habits, mismatched socks will throw them off your scent. But don't get too comfortable, there's still work to be done!
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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You will have X-ray vision today, but only for inanimate objects. You'll know how many crayons are left in the box, but sadly you'll be unable to satisfy your craving for knowledge about people's skeletons.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Your sense of taste will be heightened today. Everything you eat will taste spectacular, even mundane foods like plain bread or crackers. Enjoy this rare culinary treat but try not to overindulge lest you end up with a stomachache.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Your enemies are planning an intervention. Celebrate tonight with an extravagant gesture, but don't tell them about it.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Your inability to arrive on time for anything will result in Mother breathing her last breath just as you sit down for brunch.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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An unexpected visitor will show up at your door, but their intentions will be less than wholesome.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You will discover new meanings in old sayings like "it's raining cats and dogs out there". Hopefully, it's just raining cats and not dogs.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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A penguin will deliver your mail today. It will be an awkward experience for both of you, so just wait by the window and avoid eye contact.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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The spirits of lost pens will guide you today; follow their invisible ink trails for cosmic insights.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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You will decide to embrace your quirky side and dress according to your personal style, regardless of social conventions. Whether you prefer bright colors, unique patterns, or funky accessories, own your look with confidence. Who says fashion has to be serious?
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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If you're feeling overwhelmed this week, just remember: the universe is vast and incomprehensible. That should make you feel better.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar