Wacky Horoscopes

At 7pm GMT you will be stuck in traffic due to a moose on the road

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Wake up, and enjoy your new daydream

20 Apr – 20 May

Go over a cliff with an Pisces

21 May – 20 Jun

Today you will encounter a magical talking donkey who will give you life advice.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

You will be visited by a celebrity chef who will share tropical recipes and culinary secrets with you.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

You'll try to dye your hair and discover that your hair is already dyed.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Some people say that you can't have it all. But they are wrong. You can have anything you want. Just believe in yourself.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

It'll be tough, but you'll fix that hinge today.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Beware of rogue umbrellas conspiring to take over the world.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

A flock of hummingbirds will sing you a lullaby as you take a nap in the park. Sweet dreams!

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Today you will encounter a group of synchronized cows performing a ballet in the middle of a field.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Beware of a sudden craving for pickles and chocolate pudding—it's a culinary adventure you won't forget.

19 Feb – 20 Mar