Wacky Horoscopes

Today, you discover a hidden gift for creating unbelievable artwork.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

The first snow of the year is coming early this year. Make sure you're ready!

20 Apr – 20 May

You will meet a stranger who will change your life.

21 May – 20 Jun

Today you will accidentally oversleep and will miss the very important meeting you were expected to attend

21 Jun – 22 Jul

You will discover a hidden talent for speaking fluent penguin. Prepare for conversations with your tuxedo-wearing friends!

23 Jul – 22 Aug

A talking dog will give you advice about your personal life today.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Today you will realize that there is nobody dead nearest you and will instantly forget about your destiny.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Today you'll be recognized for your amazing detective skills, and will suddenly be recruited as a PI.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless you're a goat, in which case the grass is always greener on your side. Goats rock.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Tell a joke to a desk plant and watch it grow.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Today you will find yourself inexplicably invited to a soiree

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Beware of your friends swapping your toothpaste with rainbow-colored frosting

19 Feb – 20 Mar