Wacky Horoscopes

Someone will confess their love for you today. It will be a platypus with a hat.

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Get into bed with an Egyptian Taurus.

20 Apr – 20 May

Today you will spot a quite fat pigeon and will feel an inexplicable desire to pat its head

21 May – 20 Jun

Your car will transform into a talking unicorn and demand to be fed glitter

21 Jun – 22 Jul

A mischievous leprechaun will guide you to a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Don't forget to share!

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Giraffes look dorky but they're actually very dangerous. Keep your distance

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Today you will accidentally turn your umbrella into a parachute. Float down with style!

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Your favourite pair of sunglasses will mysteriously turn into x-ray glasses, allowing you to see through walls.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Today you will be given instruction manual to R2D2

22 Nov – 21 Dec

Today you will become a professional dart player.

22 Dec – 19 Jan

Stop being so negative. There's at least one thing you can be positive about: your awesome and unique personality!

20 Jan – 18 Feb

It's impossible to not smile when listening to Vivaldi's Four Seasons. That's just science.

19 Feb – 20 Mar