Friday, December 22, 2023
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Not feeling well? Have a drink and sleep it off.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Play Ticket To Ride with a gossipy Sagittarius.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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If you close your eyes and listen carefully, you can hear the ocean.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Your car will today stop being a car, and become a giant mechanical beetle. Embrace the insect expedition.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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You will stumble upon a secret underground society of talking squirrels. They have a lot to say.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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In a few days, your dreams are going to be eerily accurate. I would ask what this means, but I'm pretty sure you already know.
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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At some point in the future you will meet a quartz elephant in Hong Kong.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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Today, you're going to discover you've been paying your bills twice as long as everyone else.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will discover a hidden talent for speaking to plants. They have some interesting stories to share.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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When the clock strikes thirteen, your soul will leave your body and you will be a ghost. Sorry.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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Today you will find 210 euros on the sidewalk and will ask cleaning lady if she wants it. She'll say no, but you'll keep it anyway
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Take what you can from others, because they will surely take from you. Then burn everything and start over.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar