Wacky Horoscopes

Beware of mischievous garden fairies turning your lawn into a miniature golf course. Grab your putter and play along!

Aries

21 Mar – 19 Apr

Today you will be forcefully teleported to a different dimension

20 Apr – 20 May

Today you will accidentally invent a new dance move that becomes an internet sensation. Embrace your newfound fame.

21 May – 20 Jun

Your sense of humour is on the fritz. Have you tried adjusting your thermostat? Sometimes that fixes the problem.

21 Jun – 22 Jul

A map will be crucial to your success today. Don't worry, you'll figure it out.

23 Jul – 22 Aug

Your favourite pair of shoes will mysteriously start tap dancing whenever you wear them.

23 Aug – 22 Sep

Don't be alarmed when your sofa cushions start attacking you.

23 Sep – 22 Oct

Today you will be given a pack of puppy dogs to look after.

23 Oct – 21 Nov

Today you will make a friend with a pumpkin, and will realize that it's the cutest thing ever.

22 Nov – 21 Dec

An owl will fly into one of your windows

22 Dec – 19 Jan

After work you will visit a country that does not exist.

20 Jan – 18 Feb

Today, you'll stumble upon a forgotten childhood toy that brings back waves of nostalgia and a sudden urge to build pillow forts.

19 Feb – 20 Mar