Thursday, December 14, 2023
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Time to update your CV with some very unique skills: sheep shearing, pottery making and sailing a small boat.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Today you will try a new diet
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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The weather today will be a mix of sun and moonshine.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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This is your invitation to the party. Today, any and all your pathetic excuses for why you haven't followed your dreams can finally be laid to rest.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today, you will discover a new sense of self-awareness that will change your life forever. You will also discover that you are not alone in this universe.
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Feel the speed of a light-bringer Libra
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Today you will accidentally turn your car into a giant pumpkin carriage, complete with horses and footmen.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You will receive a surprise visit from the Tooth Fairy, who will ask for a loan
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Today you will learn how to play the bagpipes.
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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You will suddenly grow an extra limb that will tie up your other limbs in knots.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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If you eat some sugar, you can speak Chinese.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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Uncover a portal to a parallel universe where con prints don't work on file cabinets.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar
