Monday, December 11, 2023
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When you wake up today, take a few minutes to plan something nice for yourself. Then, get right back into bed.
Aries
21 Mar – 19 Apr
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Beware of mischievous socks that have learned to walk on their own. They may try to escape your drawer.
Taurus
20 Apr – 20 May
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Today, your makeup will match your outfit perfectly.
Gemini
21 May – 20 Jun
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Beware of falling acorns—they are plotting a squirrel uprising.
Cancer
21 Jun – 22 Jul
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Today you will forget that you have a cat
Leo
23 Jul – 22 Aug
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Today you will notice that you can grow plants simply by thinking about themselves
Virgo
23 Aug – 22 Sep
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Be prepared for an unexpected reunion with a long-lost childhood imaginary friend who has unfortunately become an expert in cryptocurrency.
Libra
23 Sep – 22 Oct
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You will eat three ice creams today. One for you, one for the road, and one for the finish line.
Scorpio
23 Oct – 21 Nov
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Your fingers are crossed..
Sagittarius
22 Nov – 21 Dec
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All of your candles are repayments for past debts. Enjoy the brief fluorescence.
Capricorn
22 Dec – 19 Jan
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A dog in Canada will steal your seat on the bus.
Aquarius
20 Jan – 18 Feb
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It'll be always sunny at your house.
Pisces
19 Feb – 20 Mar